A New Spin?

One of the benefits of leaving my i-pod at home was that I was able to get some work done on the train home from NYC. I came up with some radical changes for the script, and whether or not they stay or go, I think they've really helped changed my perspective.

For starters, I'm considering turning Landon into Alex's brother. The problem with having him as a love interest for Alex is that their relationship has to be addressed consistently, and in the end when they break up, we have to believe that their reasons were legitimate. The problem being, the story isn't about Landon as it is about Alex and Armaan. So why spend extra time on the two of them when really they don't count? I was thinking that may Alex tells Armaan that Landon is her boyfriend/fiance so that he'll back off and not try to pursue something. In an effort to prove to Alex that he too is taken, Armaan will tell her about his 'relationship' with Mona. This will prevent Alex from explaining to Armaan that she lied about Landon, once she develops feelings for him. The other adjustment is that Maya is planning on leaving the company to start her own event planning firm but is afraid to say anything to Armaan. Alex will be the one who convinces her to do so, which gives Armaan more basis to dislike Alex. The third big adjustment is that I want to add five characters to the office; they are a little less than supporting characters, but their presence in the office will help to sort of support the main story, and it will provide moments for genuine interaction.

That's the other thing. After seeing Superbad, I thought it was interesting that the first scene revolved so much around casual conversation. There is no expert writing there, but because the conversation follows such a simple, natural trajectory, it's really interesting to watch. How often do we see that? So, I'm thinking of adding a it of that element to this script. I think with a bar scene I have in mind, I can add a bit more depth to the main relationship.

We're going out somewhere, I don't know why. I'm in no mood. More later.

Four Cousins

Hooray! I got something accomplished! I just spent the past hour doing notes for the first half of the script. It was more productive than I thought... I got rid of a lot of lines and re-wrote some of the dialogue to make it edgier and a bit funnier. It's so freaking hard to be 'funny' per se, and I feel like so much of it is left up to the actors and the chemistry. This isn't a script that is supposed to be laugh-out-loud hilarious necessarily. I wouldn't mind if this didn't fit squarely into the romcom genre, because there are so many negative implicatons that come with that; mainly, lack of depth. I'd like to think there's some depth to this... Regardless, I actually got somewhere today. I just feel like there is some sort of freshness lacking from the first half. It could be because I've seen this over and over again, but maybe that's a good thing, because I'll constantly be one-upping the previous 'fresh' change I made. On the other hand, in all of this changing about, I could lose a good idea.

I came up with a line the other day that rings true to lots of other Indian/Asian minority people, I'm sure. Landon, who plays the female protagonist's snobby Stanford grad fiance, says to Armaan, "Hey, a really good friend of mine is Indian... maybe you know him?" It's funny, because this gets said a lot, but at the same time there is total merit to it. Most Indians are connected somehow. Maybe that's an element I can work into this on some subconscious level.

The other hurdle is the creation of the four cousins. Professor Abrams had this idea... basically, Armaan's company is starting to fail, and if he marries the ditzy, snobby Mona, he can save the company financially. There is, however, one other hope, which is the Singhania account. Initially, the Singhania account was just an account that could have brought a lot of money, but then Abrams suggested that there be three or four cousins that are getting married off together. I love that idea... it reminds me of Pride and Prejudice, of which I'm not a big fan, but I love the style. I think it would be a really old-fashioned touch to have these four sisters who need to be married off, each objecting to marriage for their own reasons. As soon as he meets them, Armaan will figure out that getting them married off against their will is a bad idea. That's where I wanted Alex to come in; something about her losing the account for him, or talking sense into him... or she really pushes him into not going through with it, when she doesn't realize that if he does that, she's effectively pushing him closer to Mona. The other aspect is the relationship between these two guys; should they hate each other until the very end? There is certainly nothing interesting about two characters who are pleasant around each other. What works is either one end of the spectrum, the mutual dislike in 'When Harry Met Sally', or the reverse, which is all-out passionate love, like in 'The Notebook.' The latter doesn't fit this story at all. So I think the hating angle would be interesting.

So far there are a few instances where one of them will try to patch things up, but it blows up in their faces. How do you create a feeling of two people needing to be together so badly? It's hard! I think it just happens organically... you can't consciously set out to make it happen. I guess the best I can do is lay the seeds... the moments, the dialogue, the actions... and that actual pulling feeling that makes the audience root for the leads will have to happen on screen. Anyway, that's all second half stuff... I'm going to figure out if there is some way for me to post the second draft that I'm revising right now.

That's all for now..

Progress for the lazy!

I printed the latest draft today. That, to me, says progress! Prof. Abrams suggested I spend some time away from this script so I can get a fresh perspective on it. That's just what I did, though I can't help feeling lazy for not doing any work on this script. Although I guess to be fair to myself, I came up with some new stuff. Watching a lot of trailers has oddly given me a lot of inspiration for some changes to make. When I watch trailers, I like to think of where those moments I see would appear in the script. Usually, I'm really terribly off. For example, I'll post a link to the trailer for the new film 'Saawariya', which is incidentally the first Hindi movie to be totally financed by an American studio, in this case Sony. Anyway, it's directed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali who as most people know is my guru. It's a bit strange because it's very obvious that this was filmed on a set, and I suppose that's just his style. I'm just so used to his lush interiors that this was a bit jarring. Anyway, I digress...

Watching all these trailers have helped me remember how visial this script has to be. I love amazing visuals, but I also love my dialogue. Rather than have this script be an assault on everyone's senses, what it should really be is a nice blend of the two. I've been able to blend the American/Indian flavors pretty well, I think, so the next step is the blend the visual with the verbal. I've also realized the more original the characters, the more original the piece. Take 'Superbad' for example. From the get-go, we had a sense of who these two characters were and how they were different from each other, and I at least warmed up to them. Every character, even the fabric seller, should stand out. So should each line...the next step is to go through the script I printed and trash the useless lines, and there are several. I'm looking to sharpen this up and make it fresher. And for the love of God, I have got to make those two lead characters properly fall in love! Prof Abrams suggested making them hate each other until they just can't anymore.

This computer is heating up a bit too much for my liking. That's it for now... check out the Saawariya trailer at www.saawariyathefilm.com.